random stuff
Ok, so far I've only posted 8 other posts besides this one, and I'm still getting used to using this type of website for blogging. Anyways, the scoop is, I still have these bad memories from when I guess you can say, I'd get bullied and singled out between the 6th grade and 10th grade, before I moved to Wisconsin. Still occasionally think of those girls who I stupidly thought were my "Friends" in elementary school, and then they all just treated me like complete crap in the 6th grade. It really makes me question, whether or not I ever really had any friends, while going to Kate Mitchell School. My guess is NO! I don't know why the memories of how they've treated me from 6th grade on up keep coming up. They might have even done other mean things to me, where I didn't even realize that what they were doing was mean, and they were only being nice to me when teachers and parents were around. But anyways, I remember back when I was 20 and it was the summer of 2004, I wasn't even thinking about this kind of stuff. I was just thinking about running, riding bikes, not worried about my weight, music from the 80's, and martial arts, briefly. I never thought much of those girls back then. I don't know why the memories of them and what they did is coming up now. But it's clearly been torturing me for about the last 3 or 4 years now. I just want to be able to let it go. I know I need to just say to myself, "Ya know what? Those were just bad friends. Those girls are pathetic. To hell with them! If I don't deserve to be friends with them today, they don't deserve to be mine." I know I need to let go of what they did in the past. I really wish they could say they do remember what they did and that they're sorry for it all. But I know they won't.
Speaking of letting old stuff go, and leaving it behind, there is someone in my facebook friends, I should probably take off. I guess when it comes to abusive ex-boyfriends, Ex-boyfriends are like a wisdom tooth. When there's not enough room in your mouth, the wisdom tooth has to be removed. And right now, I guess I can safely say, there's no room in my life for my ex-boyfriend and I to still be friends. So the best thing maybe to just unfriend him. I mean, I know that my ex and I would have good moments together, but then he would turn around and do something to ruin it. I mean, when my ex was good, he was good, but then he'd turn around and ruin it for his own selfish comfort. He'd look at other little girls who were either preteens or teeny boppers, saying he got the one on either side, wearing whatever, or he'd say that was his future wife. He'd make sexual advances towards me that I didn't want, and he'd even try to force himself on me after I told him NO! And even before he moved away and after we broke up when I'd try to still just be friends with him, even then he'd still want me making out with him, and cooercing me into doing sexual favors for him. And last year he was doing everything he could to keep me on the phone, when I"m with someone. And when he IMed me on facebook, I didn't feel 100% right about talking to him. Eventhough he might have given me his number, and part of me might have wanted to call him on his cell, I thought it over and thought about what consequences there might be to me calling him and talking to him on the phone. Not only that, but when he IMed me on facebook about me giving him my cell phone number, I just didn't feel comfortable with talking to him online anymore. But talking to him in person, online, or on the phone already feels pretty awkward as it is, and if he's just trying to control me, maybe it's for the best I unfriend him. It might be better for my current relationship with Jason. Even people from the autism support group meetings have told me to take my ex-boyfriend off my facebook friends, as well. And they're probably right.
Speaking of letting old stuff go, and leaving it behind, there is someone in my facebook friends, I should probably take off. I guess when it comes to abusive ex-boyfriends, Ex-boyfriends are like a wisdom tooth. When there's not enough room in your mouth, the wisdom tooth has to be removed. And right now, I guess I can safely say, there's no room in my life for my ex-boyfriend and I to still be friends. So the best thing maybe to just unfriend him. I mean, I know that my ex and I would have good moments together, but then he would turn around and do something to ruin it. I mean, when my ex was good, he was good, but then he'd turn around and ruin it for his own selfish comfort. He'd look at other little girls who were either preteens or teeny boppers, saying he got the one on either side, wearing whatever, or he'd say that was his future wife. He'd make sexual advances towards me that I didn't want, and he'd even try to force himself on me after I told him NO! And even before he moved away and after we broke up when I'd try to still just be friends with him, even then he'd still want me making out with him, and cooercing me into doing sexual favors for him. And last year he was doing everything he could to keep me on the phone, when I"m with someone. And when he IMed me on facebook, I didn't feel 100% right about talking to him. Eventhough he might have given me his number, and part of me might have wanted to call him on his cell, I thought it over and thought about what consequences there might be to me calling him and talking to him on the phone. Not only that, but when he IMed me on facebook about me giving him my cell phone number, I just didn't feel comfortable with talking to him online anymore. But talking to him in person, online, or on the phone already feels pretty awkward as it is, and if he's just trying to control me, maybe it's for the best I unfriend him. It might be better for my current relationship with Jason. Even people from the autism support group meetings have told me to take my ex-boyfriend off my facebook friends, as well. And they're probably right.
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