What does Autism Acceptance mean to me?

 Autism acceptance. What does it mean to me?

It means that people on the spectrum get treated by other people with respect and they get treated equally. It also means being aware that people on the spectrum might not always know how to handle some situations appropriately, but they don't always mean anything by it, and also politely correcting them, if need be. It also means being empathetic for when they struggle with some of the things any normal person might struggle with. Also being aware that they notice if whether or not you're talking to them in that tone of voice you would use if you were talking a child under the age of 6, when they're over the age of 8 years and have pretty average to above average intelligence, and how much they hate it when people think they can talk to them like that, just because they have a disability. It also means that if someone on the spectrum is Higher functioning and they're capable of making their own decisions, they have the right to refuse certain services, if they don't want to get help from those services, if they know what works for them, and they know those services don't. 

I think autism acceptance and awareness should mean knowing and remembering that not everyone on the spectrum is affected the exact same way, and that society needs to look at each individual on the spectrum, case by case; such as, what's the person's background like? What are their life experiences? what are their beliefs? What are their views on certain issues? What are their interests? Do they have any co-existing conditions? If so, what are those conditions? do they have a personal preference for what kind of services they get, or what kind of people they hang out with? Do they have any personal preferences? Is where they're at on the spectrum very obvious or is it very subtle? how would they like to be treated, as well as having respect for those things as well as their decisions? Especially if they have the right to say "no", and making sure that every individual on the spectrum in their environment feel as comfortable and as welcome as possible, just like everyone else.

The issue I have with society and autism is the stereotypes there are for people with autism. One big one being that people with autism always needing to be placed in the same position as people with intellectual disabilities. I know some people who are on the spectrum can be put into special programs as those with intellectual disabilities, and they'd be ok with it. And if there are individuals with autism spectrum disorders who are also intellectually disabled, I can see the point of putting them with other people who are intellectually disabled under such circumstances. 

At the same time, some people on the spectrum might NOT want to be put in the same position as those with intellectual disabilities. Through the years I've gone to these social/support group meetings for adults on the spectrum, I have talked to other adults on the spectrum, and some of them have also either told me they had been through that as well, and they hated it, or they've told me they wouldn't want to be placed in a situation like that, either.  And there are some good reasons why not, which might have nothing to do with being prejudice against intellectual disabilities, whatsoever. So, people really need to get that idea out of their heads. I unfortunately, have been accused of such thing in the past, when that wasn't the reason I didn't want to be around a bunch of intellectually disabled people under certain circumstances. But I had been accused of it, in the past. For one, some people on the spectrum who have more normal intelligence might also have learning disabilities such as Dyslexia, Dysgraphia, or even math disabilities, as well as ADHD. And if you have a person on the spectrum who has had been around other people who also have learning disabilities and ADD/ADHD most of their lives, and then suddenly they need to start getting the same services as intellectually disabled individuals just because they're on the spectrum, where they had to be around people like that and be treated like a baby, I think that can be a huge step backwards in the wrong direction, in my opinion. I have been through that myself, unfortunately and I find it very inappropriate because that's like an insult to those on the spectrum who have more normal intelligence. It's embarrassing, it's degrading to be treated like a little kid when you have normal intelligence, and it's humiliating. Most of my life I have been around people who have in fact either learning disabilities and ADHD, but otherwise had normal intelligence. So, if I were to be placed in something where I'm around all these people with intellectual disabilities, and I was the only one who wasn't intellectually disabled, that would make me feel very uncomfortable. Those of us who are on the spectrum but otherwise have normal intelligence don't want to be treated like we're little kids (if were over the age of 7 or 8), and we don't like people talking to us like we're little kids, even if we never tell you. And it still makes me very angry to see the same services for those with intellectual disabilities being given to those on the autism spectrum, when maybe it's not that obvious that they have it. 

Another thing I notice is that, if any normal person didn't want to be around a bunch of intellectually disabled people under certain circumstances because they weren't comfortable, other people would just figure the reason that person doesn't want to be around a bunch of intellectually disabled people, because they're not comfortable, and don't ever say anything about it. They don't ever make that person go into a program where everyone is going to be intellectually disabled except them, either. But the moment I'd tell them I don't want to be around people like that under those circumstances for the same reasons a normal person might not want to be around intellectually disabled people for the same reasons, I've been wrongfully accused of not wanting to be around them because I'm "prejudice", and they'd force me to be in those programs with those people under the circumstances anyway against my will, because maybe they thought they could "cure me". And I already KNEW that it would be very inappropriate for me to have to be placed in the same position as people with intellectual disabilities under such circumstances and I should have had the right to say "No" to those kinds of services.

In a way, I also feel to always have all people with autism spectrum disorders be placed in the same position as those with intellectual disabilities is kind of like taking a person who has Cerebral Palsy but can still walk with a slight limp, and telling them they need to be in a wheelchair, just because they have Cerebral Palsy, even though they can walk just fine without one. I mean, how would you like it if you had a very mild learning disability like Dyslexia, and you got put in the same position with people who have intellectual disabilities, and everyone was intellectually disabled except you, but they still treated you the same way they treated intellectually disabled people, like they're little kids, just because they had a lower mental capacity? Unfortunately, this has happened to me when I was in Kindergarten, and maybe yes, teachers thought they were helping me only to find out it ended up being the wrong thing to do. I didn't even realize at the time those kids were even intellectually disabled at the time, but now that I know this looking back, it makes me very angry that they put me through that, because I think I missed out on the opportunity to learn things that I was supposed to learn in Kindergarten. So, basically, what they had me go through in Kindergarten turned out to be a bunch of unnecessary B.S. that I even needed to be in a class with kids with that disability in the first place. After that, they had me continue to be around other kids with disabilities, but they had otherwise more normal intelligence, other than that.
I'll give you another analogy on what it might feel like for me: Say you're being told you have to be in this bar with all these people who are drunk, everyone in the bar can drink and get as drunk as they want, except you, and you're being told that you need to be around people like that, but you couldn't serve them drinks, either. How would you feel, then? You might feel left out, but you might also feel uncomfortable on account of how everyone is acting around you because they're drunk and probably don't want to be around people who are acting like that.

You know, if Albert Einstein was here today, and had the level of intelligence he had, today but he had been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, do you really think he would want to be placed in the same position as a bunch of intellectually disabled people, just because he was on the spectrum in spite his level of intelligence and having staff workers there talking to him like a little kid, or do you think he'd want to hang around like minded college professors and scientists and talk about science and some of his theories on certain things which we've adopted, today? I think he would rather hang around a bunch of like-minded scientists, as well, and if he had to be around a bunch of intellectually disabled people on a regular basis, I don't imagine he would be very happy, either.

Another reason, I'm so against being in the same position where I'd have to be around intellectually disabled people where everyone is intellectually disabled except me is that while I was in elementary school and middle school, whether my parents believe it or not, I have had kids call me a "retard". And I feel that if I ever have to be in some kind of situation or program where everyone is intellectually disabled except me, I'm just going to be proving people I used to go to school with who have called me a "retard", right. Now if I were around maybe just around 1 person with an intellectual disability and only was around them once in a great while, and at the same time, I knew there were other people with disabilities out there around me who weren't intellectually disabled, and it was on my terms, and not someone else's, then I would feel more comfortable. I just don't want to have to be around a bunch of people with intellectual disabilities and be the only one who has otherwise normal intelligence. The intellectually disabled community is not the ideal group of people I would want to hang around on a more regular basis. And if I had to be around a bunch of intellectually disabled people on a regular basis, I would feel very uncomfortable and out of place around them. And forcing me to be around them under those circumstances is NOT going to help cure me of anything. I want to be around with people who have disabilities, that I feel I can relate to and I feel like I have more in common with those who also may have ADHD, and learning disabilities, because when I do, I feel more normal, and I feel more like I actually blend in more with that crowd. I don't want to feel different. It's like Janet Jackson even says in her song, "Velvet Rope", "We have a special need. To feel that we belong". 

But unfortunately, I have been put through such situations where these idiot professionals thought they needed to force me into these day programs with a bunch of intellectually disabled adults who couldn't even take care of themselves, against my will, and it once again ended up being very inappropriate, when I was 20, again when I was 23 and again when I was 27. You'd think people would learn after the first time! If it wasn't appropriate for me when I was a little kid, it wouldn't be appropriate for me as an adult. And I didn't just feel uncomfortable in there when I was 20. But when I was 23 I had a case worker who had my parents thinking they needed to force me into this ACAP program in Waukesha, WI, against my will when I knew it would be inappropriate and I knew it was just a program with intellectually disabled people in there running around and I even told them "No, I didn't want to be in there", and they still forced me in there against my will. They didn't care how I felt about being in there and while I was in there, I saw how abusive mentally and emotionally staff workers at this ACAP program in Waukesha could be, at the time. And on top of it, the lady who was in charge of the program at the time had even told me when I was supposed to go on a tour of the place that a lot of people didn't like her because they thought she was mean. But, those people in that program didn't just think she could be mean. They knew she could be mean and if anyone didn't like her because of that, rightfully so. And I think for her to tell me that, should have been seen as an automatic red flag that I could be abused in there by staff workers. That's also where I had been falsely accused of being prejudice of intellectually disabled people. Not only that but this case worker I had at the time, knew the whole time that the program only worked with intellectually disabled and physically disabled people and the program was never really meant to be for people on the more subtle end of the autism spectrum. But she pushed me to go into that program, anyway and on top of it, I was told by this case manager I had at the time, that when I'm around intellectually disabled people, I'm more with my own "kind", which I think was just a more subtle way for her to call me "retarded", without actually saying it, directly.  Thank God, I don't have her anymore, and good riddance! She didn't know what she was talking about, because she would keep trying to place me in the same situation as people with intellectual disabilities when that's just not my ideal peer group and I didn't trust her, either.

When I was 27, these other professionals had tried to force me to go to Pantheon Industries in Oconomowoc, which was just another program where the majority of people in there were intellectually disabled and it was very uncomfortable for me. Plus, they treat people in there like they're little kids. I didn't last 6 weeks in there. And I was also getting harassed by an intellectually disabled woman who appeared to be about 40 to 55 years old, every single week, just because I got to ride to and from there in the front seat and she thought she needed to ride in the front seat. And I ended up having to turn her in, after noticing it had been going on for a while. 

So, it has nothing to do with being prejudice of intellectually disabled people. It has everything to do with my background, and past experiences good and bad with being around other people who have disabilities, as well.  It also makes me very angry that for years people with intellectual disabilities have been the poster of what people with disabilities look like, and whenever there's talk of services stating they work with all types of disabilities, it's a bunch of B.S. because the only people with disabilities they ever really work with who go into these programs and get these kinds of services are intellectually disabled people. So, I think these services really need to stop telling society they work with all types of disabilities, because they clearly don't. If they said they only worked with intellectually disabled individuals, then at least they're being more honest with the public. If intellectual disabilities were really the only disabilities people could be afflicted with, then yes, those programs can say that. But because there's more disabilities out there than just intellectually disabled people, they can't say they work with all types of disabilities, and they shouldn't. I mean, it's great that they have services for intellectually disabled people, but there's so many services, they could take all those services and build a whole new city or a town just for intellectually disabled people alone to live in as a community. I feel like there's too many services out there where people are only trained to deal with intellectually and physically disabled people and I'm sick of it!  And I really think that not just in the state of Wisconsin, but everywhere, there needs to be more services for people of all ages with disabilities who are NOT intellectually disabled that includes cases of autism who have normal intelligence. Not just with school, but employment, housing, social groups, etc. and have that be for people who have ADHD, learning disabilities, and autism (with normal intelligence who are NOT intellectually disabled), because after all, as mentioned before, some people with autism spectrum disorders also have ADHD and learning disabilities. I also saw that both Autism Spectrum Disorders, learning disabilities and ADD/ADHD were placed under the same category on paper under the term, "Neurodivergent". So if they can all be placed in the same category on paper under the term, "Neurodivergent", why not there be real life services for all ages of people who fall under that category, as well? Especially when it comes to social activities, and no, it would not include intellectually disabled people in these services.