About my experience with public speaking about my disability

Ok so as of April, 26, 2014, I decided to be part of an autism panel where I share with people coming to watch me talk about my experiences with other people, as well as talk about things I like to do, where I'm from,who I consider a support system, as well as experiences with school and what I would like to do for work, and if we had any advice for adults who had a child who just got diagnosed. And eventhough I promised I wouldn't do this and really wanted to just be professional, when we talked about our school experiences and I had to talk about what was hard for me, I happened to mention one of my worst years in school. And I really tried talk about what happened, I really didn't want to get emotional in front of anyone because I just wanted to look professional, but when it came to talking about it, I got emotional in front of people. I know that some people did actually come up to us and told us it was the best panel they had ever seen, and that I did a good job talking to people for it being my first time. But I still never wanted to cry in front of anyone about the fact that people I thought were my friends, turned their backs on me when I really needed them the most. But I don't think I could hold back my tears and emotions, anymore. And I don't like crying in front of people either, because whenever I do, I hyperventilate, which means I can't have a good cry without difficulty breathing, and if I can't breathe, I can't cry and I can't talk.

Some responses I had to what I have to say up here:
Ceri: I think you just showed the real side of it all. People need to be able to relate to the person that is talking to them. If you had talked about it all in a matter of fact way and hadn't shed a tear, it may have had less of an effect. Your emotions added integrity to what you were remembering and I bet you that made people more able to relate to you. Well done you! Embrace who you are and how it has affected you. People who are seeking help and information will value knowing how it really is, in real terms, on a day to day basis, from someone who they can see, hear and ask questions to. Pamphlets and information from medical people is fine and all, but very clinical. You are providing the reality. Own it 

Ross: It was a brave and courageous thing to do. I have heard of courage being defined as being afraid of doing something and doing it anyway. Little by little, we must lift the profile of Autistic people around the world and decrease the ignorance with which we are treated.

Ceri: Absolutely. I'm 23 years down the line, as you heard earlier Ross, I stand on a foundation built from every stone and brick I've had thrown at me. I am 45 years old in 2 weeks and I just learned I probably have aspergers and my 6 year old too. I'm scared of nothing by now. People who are new to this diagnosis need real people to show them that there IS life after diagnosis of disability. Be real. That's what real people want. Best wishes!

ME: I guess one way to look at it is, if it's a painful memory, and I showed no emotion when talking about it today, people could have been thinking, "How can she sit there and talk about it, and have no emotion?" I guess, as Tyra Banks would say to me if she was there, "don't worry about being professional. You're being human, right now", or something like that. Or at least I'm assuming.

Ceri: Definitely. People want to know if it's possible to cope in a human capacity, not in a professional one.



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