My doubts

 There's something I've noticed while being with Adam. If I go do something with him that he wants to do, I'm willing to go do it with him, even if it's not quite my cup of tea and keep an open mind to it, and he's fine. But if it's something I want to do and it's somewhere I want to go and it's not quite his "thing", he thinks he needs to have some kind of temper tantrum and storm off. And then he says if I'm going to go do things with my friends, he just doesn't want to be around me when I'm hanging with my friends. And if he's going to continue to have these tantrums and storm off in public whether I'm with my friends or not, he's going to end up making my social circle of friends and family not like him very much and he's going to end up isolating me from my friends.  And he's also just so rigid about stuff. I wish he could be more flexible. This shit has got to stop.
Honestly, I don't know why I can't just be okay with being single again. But if I was with someone for almost 11 years only for that relationship to end because they passed away, I guess I wasn't 100% ok with being single again. How could I be? At the same time, I know sometimes people will want to go from boyfriend to boyfriend or girlfriend to girlfriend, because they want that companionship and they're afraid of being alone. Unfortunately, I'm probably just afraid of being alone. But I know that shouldn't mean that I should be doing that, because even if I do end up with someone after Jason, doesn't mean he would be the right guy for me. And I don't want to be in a relationship where I'm going to be abused, either. I guess sometimes it's better to be alone than it is to be in a relationship with someone where you're being abused and you're unhappy. All I know is, he'd better get some counseling and share with the therapist some of the things he's done and how his behavior drives people away, and maybe hopefully the therapist can help him see that his behavior drives people away when  he gets the way he does. I hope he's willing to listen and to whatever they suggest he does.At the same time, I know I'm going to need help with not being afraid to walk away from the relationship if the occasion calls for it. Because I shouldn't have to put up with this, either. He's also now not letting me drive some place outside of Mukwonago, when I might know a way to get out there, yet if there's somewhere he knows how to get to, he drives us out there and I never say a thing. Yet, if it's some place I know how to get to, he thinks it should be done his way. That's not good. I think I need to start keeping tabs on the things he's saying. And if the occasion calls for it, I am going to need that help walking away from this relationship. I knew it would be a mistake to date someone from my autism group meetings. I knew that if I was already friends with guys from there, I should just stay friends with them and nothing more and nothing less. Because if I end up dating them, and we end up breaking up, it'll ruin that friendship. And then we'll never want to see each other again. I might also have to come to terms with the fact that I might not be capable of being in a healthy relationship with guys, because I always seem to be finding myself with guys who have some psychological problems that I probably have no business getting involved with in the first place. They've been emotionally unstable, or they've had a drinking problem, or they were a pervert. All the decent guys are taken and I'm way too much of a child to be in a healthy relationship with anyone, in the first place.