Aspie chick with a wild streak

 So, they just recently made it where you can listen to Mannheim Steamroller on Sirius XM, except you have to listen to it on an app instead of on the Sirius xm in the car. So, I've been listening to it on an App, a lot. So,when it comes to Christmas songs they haven't done yet, here's what I've always wanted to hear them do: 1. The 12 Days of Christmas (I've been wanting to hear them do a version of that song, forever) 2. Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree 3. Jingle Bell Rock 4. Sleigh Ride 5. It's The Most Wonderful Time Of the Year 6. It's Beginning to Look Like Christmas 7. Mele Kalikimaka (after hearing their song, "Niki, You're Such a Beach off their Exotic Spaces, I can see them using those same instruments for the song "Mele Kalikimaka") 8. Happy X-Mas (War is Over) (With a choir of men and women singing, "War is over if you want it. War is over, now") (of course if they did the rest of the songs from the Nutcracker Su...

 So, from a young age while I was in grade school, I remember how in class we always talked about Martin Luther King and what he did with him being African American/Black and how he saw to it that they were treated more equally in the country. And it wasn't quite until the 4th grade that I realized it was because February was Black History month. When I first heard of the term, "Black History Month", I thought they were talking about the color black. But when I was in 4th grade, and we were reading stories about black folks that took place at times when black and white people were segregated, that's when I connected the dots. And just 2 years ago, I learn that March is Women's History month. I know that's pretty bad that it took me that long to learn that February was Black History Month and March was Women's History month. Anyway, ever since I was 21, I always thought that if the month of February was black history month, there really should be a month in...

 So, I remember this show that used to be on MTV called MTV Flipped. What happens is they'd take people who were around my age and put them in a position of people who either got discriminated against because they were a minority or bullied, or something like that, so they could see how it feels like to be treated like crap, everyday. Well,that did come out over 20 years ago and there was really only 3 seasons of that show. Perhaps if it was more popular, it would have been a lot easier to look it up and have the internet know exactly what you're talking about. But I guess to look for certain tv shows on MTV that were on tv 20 years ago online, would be like if say the year was 2005, and you wanted to look up videos and old tv shows that used to be on MTV in 1985. Whenever I looked it up online, there's barely anything on the internet who seems to know what I'm talking about. When I type in "Flipped", it seems to think that I'm talking about a movie or an ...

 I know I've talked about this before, but I'm already picturing some of the songs she would do if she could do another Christmas album: 1. Santa Claus is Coming to Town 2.Happy X-Mas (War is Over) 3. Feliz Navidad 4. All I Want for Christmas is You 5. Silent Night 6. Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) 7. Joy To The World 8. Grown Up Christmas List 9. What Child is This? 10. My Favorite Things

 Well, the congenital Heart walk in Milwaukee is coming up. In some ways, I'm excited about doing it. But in other ways, I once again finding myself remembering times we've had together and wishing we were still together, like that. Remembering the times we've had together really makes me wish I could just go back in time from when I was still with Jason and tell him I love him again.  And that I could just hug him and kiss him again, just to let him know that he was needed and wanted. I just wish I could go back in time and undo some of the choices he had made so he could still be here, today. I know he's been gone now for 2 years, and it still hurts. What I'm hoping to do is attend the event this year and prepare better for next year by finding out when that'll be so I can let friends and family members of his know, so that maybe we can come together as a team, decide on a name, and maybe even have t-shirts with pictures of him on it. 

  I know it's not my place to say this. I do think they need to come up with some new material that all ages can enjoy, instead of all these Disney remakes. I don't really agree with how they want to redo all these old Disney classics. However, if they did a remake of the Rescuers and wanted the actress who played Penny to be played by a girl who was black, white, Asian, Hispanic/Latino, I would be okay with it, just as long as they follow the original story line, for the most part. I know it sounds dumb to have them train live animals and have them be able to talk to each other and be able to hear what they have to say to each other in the live version of The Rescuers, if there ever was such a thing. It would still be nice to know what the animals are saying to each other, and to Penny, like some of us saw in the original movie. I'm not sure how they would pull off Madame Medusa having crocodiles as pets. Maybe it could be that the swamp just already has cro...

 Okay, I've noticed lately, Disney has been releasing a lot of live remakes of the original Disney classics, lately. I know I'm probably not going to like every Disney movie they come up with. But seriously, they need to come up with something new and original. If they came up with new Disney films where it revolved around characters who maybe fell in love with someone of a different race or faith, because love knows no race or religion, I'd be okay with that. If they wanted to create a whole new movie about people who were LGTBQIA, where they met and fell in love, I'd totally be okay with that.  But here's the thing about this remake of the movie Snow White. The last I checked, her name is Snow White, because her skin is as white as snow, and suddenly, that's racist? It's not like whoever wrote that story or made it into an animated Disney Classic, made it to offend anyone intentionally. What's even more messed up about this new version of Snow White is...

 How did it get so late in the day, already? It used to be, I'd get up at 9 in the morning after sleeping in late, and there still used to be plenty of hours in the day to do whatever. I'm wondering if this is from spending too much time on the computer after getting up in the morning, going to the gym late in the moring, and somehow by the time I get home, it's already after 2 or 3pm. I didn't even do much after getting done at the gym. Now it's almost 5pm. Where did the time go?

 So, earlier this year when I went with my mom to see A Man Called Otto staring Tom Hanks, I saw this preview for a movie that takes place in the very state I'm from: Iowa! And it stars Ernie Hudson, Woody Harrelson and Cheech (part of the duo, Cheech and Chong). Anyway,what happens is Woody's character ends up getting in trouble for drunk driving, and he ends up having to coach a Special Olympics Basketball team. More recently, I looked to see if there was some place where maybe I could stream it. So I end up streaming it on youtube, because I figure if I think I want to buy it when it comes out on dvd, I should stream it to see if I even like it, first. So, I did just that, and I thought it was pretty good, and funny. I also like the fact that in the movie, they're supposed to be going to a game in my old home town where I was born: Ames, Iowa! Anyway, I think it's cool that one of the guys with Down Syndrome works at an animal shelter, and thanks to him, the shelter ...

 So, there's this Disney movie the Mighty Ducks that came out in the fall of '92. I would have been 8 at the time. But I didn't see it until after it came out on video. By that time, I was 9. For a while after that, and after we taped it when it was on tv, I would want to watch it over and over and over again. Part of the reason I'd watch it over and over again was because I had a crush on the actors who played Charlie Conway and Adam Banks. I thought they were so cute looking at the time. And because I thought Charlie was one of the nicer kids of the bunch. Anyways, you know that scene where McGil knocks Adam Banks out in the first movie, and then that Larson kid came to see if he was even Okay, and then stayed with him until the paramedics came to get Banks off the ice? I get it's just a movie but if I was him, after McGil said to him, "My Job". I would have been like, "McGil, You COULD HAVE KILLED HIM!!! I AM DONE WITH YOU AS A FRIEND, I'...

 There's something I've noticed while being with Adam. If I go do something with him that he wants to do, I'm willing to go do it with him, even if it's not quite my cup of tea and keep an open mind to it, and he's fine. But if it's something I want to do and it's somewhere I want to go and it's not quite his "thing", he thinks he needs to have some kind of temper tantrum and storm off. And then he says if I'm going to go do things with my friends, he just doesn't want to be around me when I'm hanging with my friends. And if he's going to continue to have these tantrums and storm off in public whether I'm with my friends or not, he's going to end up making my social circle of friends and family not like him very much and he's going to end up isolating me from my friends.  And he's also just so rigid about stuff. I wish he could be more flexible. This shit has got to stop. Honestly, I don't know why I can'...

  Conversation from June 5, 2023: Crazy girl: Hi girl. I'm feeling a little nervous about getting married is that normal? Me: I would think so. Crazy girl: Yeah. Charles is probably feeling the same way. Charles is probably feeling the same way. I'm probably anxious about it. It's a big commitment. Me: Yes it is. Crazy girl: But I love him and ready to get married.  Me: When is the big day? Crazy girl:  June 10th Me: Oh OK. Crazy girl:  But I can't be there because of work. Me: You can't be at your own wedding?    Crazy girl: I will try Me: That doesn't make any sense Crazy girl:  I can't leave my job. I'm just afraid of getting fired. I can't leave because of my work and my dog. I don't know what the heck I'm going to do. Me: you work on Saturday? Well, if you are getting married for real, you would have to have that day off from work for the big day, number 1. And you would have to be living with the guy and know him real well inside an...

 Well, it's that time of year when we have the carnival in Field Park in Mukwonago. I'm sorry that I still like going on carnival rides at my age and nowadays I don't know if anyone will go with me on any of the rides. I'm so sick of having these boyfriends who will promise me we'll do something that I want to do, only to not follow through with doing it. I don't know why I even bother. I would never do that to any of them. I've also been thinking about the past years when I was still with  Jason, and think if only. I wish that at some point, he had quit drinking so many years prior to 2 or 3 years ago when he was still here. I think that if only he had quit smoking and drinking while we were together and never picked it back up again and just took better care of himself, listened to everyone who told him he needed to change that about himself, he could still be here. And we could have either gotten engaged at the end of the year 2 years ago, or we could hav...

 Let's see. This winter of 2023: January-March 1st: starting weight was 157lbs. By March 1st, it was at 149lbs. Total weight loss: 8lbs. This spring of 2023, my starting weight was 149lbs. And as of June 1st my weight loss was 142lbs. So this spring I've lost 7lbs. Total weight loss: 15lbs.  And now, I've already lost 3lbs as of June, this year. So this summer I've now lost 3lbs. Total weight loss: 18lbs. Still have 19 more to go.

 Let's see, my starting weight this year, we'll say was 157lbs. And during the winter season of January 5th-March 1st this year, I've lost a promising total of 8lbs.  This spring season, from March 1st to the end of May, I'll say I lost a total of 8lbs.  Total: 16lbs, so far.

 Ok, I like it when it thunderstorms, but it seems like whenever we get those, it always has to happen right when I need to go somewhere or when I'm out about. I mean, I know I can't control what the weather is going to do, but I just would rather it not do that when I have to go somewhere or want to go somewhere. Especially when I don't want to have to drive through it and right now the windshield wipers on the car that I've been driving haven't been working, lately. Personally, I think the best case scenario is it thunderstorms on a day or night when I'm at home and don't have to go anywhere. Ok, rant over

 So, when I was in maybe 5th grade, I remember getting the movie soundtrack Free Willy for Christmas since I liked that movie when I was 10. Anyway, one of the songs on the soundtrack was performed by an R&B/hip hop band called Funky Poets. And I do remember listening to the song on soundtrack and I guess I always wondered what the guys from that group looked like. I thought when hearing them singing that song, "How Can You Leave Me Now", I thought one of the guys sounded kinda cute. So out of curiousity, I looked them up on the internet and on youtube, just to see what they looked like.It's too bad that they didn't get more recognition in the music business than what they did. They don't even have anything about them on Wikipedia. Anyway, when I looked them up on youtube, they don't have a music video for their song off that movie soundtrack. They do however have a couple of music videos by them on there, though. The one music video I like by them is ...

 Well, this all started this last fall in 2022. I noticed if I ate something sweet, the bottom left side of my mouth would feel sore and irritated. So I started making sure I was taking better care of my teeth. Eventually, the soreness in the bottom half of my mouth went away. But then it moved into the upper half of my mouth. I think it's when they had tootsie rolls at work and when I bit into one, my upper left molar was in a lot of physical pain. So after I'd brush my teeth, I'd also use mouth wash and then oral gel to get rid of the pain. Eventually the pain on that side of my mouth did go away as well, but then it came back on the right side of my mouth. Had to use oral gel after brushing my teeth and using the mouth wash as well. Then during the Christmas season, my mouth was no longer in any pain. And I thought that would be a thing of the past.  Unfortunately, I was wrong because in January this year, I had some egg rolls and some sauce to dip it in for dinner one n...

 Just feeling depressed. How could I go with being with someone for almost 11 years to them just being gone. I'm missing the life I had when Jason was still here. My life was so much more interesting when he was still here. Now it's just kinda dull. 8 years ago I go from living at home with parents to living on my own by the end of that year. And then 6 years later, I'm living on my own by myself again, after living with Jason for only 4 years only for him to pass away. I've never been legally married and already I'm experiencing life as widow. In some ways it's nice to have my own apartment to myself, but what I miss is having someone to come home to who I can talk to about how my day has been going and what I got to see and experience when the other person wasn't there. What I would like is to still be able to come home and share with him those things, and not have to find him drunk and passed out. And as I might have mentioned before, I miss him only bein...

 Ok, so I thought I should mention some of the positive things that have happened for both last year and this year. I know that the first 4 months of last year were probably the hardest I had to get through. At least things got more interesting as the year progressed as expected. When I think about the good stuff that happened last spring and summer, I think they might have been positive distractions from my grieving over Jason, as just a reminder that I can be happy again.  I got to go to the Milwaukee Zoo in March. In April last year, I got to go to the Autism Gala towards the end of April. In May and June I got to celebrate birthdays with some old friends. I think I need to make time to hang out with some of my old friends and get my old social life back. I ended up in a relationship with someone from my autism group meetings when I had met him 9 years prior. He's been very supportive and understanding of the fact that I was with someone before him for a very long time, onl...

 Well, it's now been over a year since the last time I've blogged on here. I really should blog more often about my life and what's new.It's just getting around to it that's been hard, lately. It's a sunny evening. On nice sunny evenings like this remind me of times when I would go for walks with Jason at this time of night at Frame park in Waukesha, WI, when we first started going together. Although it's now been almost 2 years since he's been gone, the grief still hits in waves. I will say, I'm doing a lot better than I was a year ago. Or at least I would like to believe that. Every now and again, I wish I could just go back in time and relive certain moments from when I was in better running shape and ran at those track meets in High School. I wish I could go back to when Jason and I used to go places together and he wasn't always getting drunk. I know some of the places we went and the things we used to do weren't always really all that e...